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Saturday, October 10, 2020

Just Like Them

Just Like Them
(nom de guerre)
(c) Saturday, October 10, 2020


He entered off the alley into what once might have been just a storeroom:  a sliver of space forgotten among developing real estate.  It was barely 60 square feet, including the water closet with a slop sink and toilet in the rear—a section that also served as the kitchen with a hot plate on top of a fridge.  The fridge may have been from a hotel room, about the height and width of a floor safe.  What was in this forgotten room was stacked up to the ceiling.  Some of those stacks divided a cot from a table made of other things stacked up.  It was dirty, grimy, and disheveled.  But a home.

In what once might have been a doorway between the area with the fridge and the rest of the storage area there was protruding a piano bench providing a seat before the sink and bare mirror.  The mirror, no more than two by one, had some chipping, a large crack through one-third of the left side, some paint splashes and rust stains from beneath the glass, all of which limited its utility.  He shuffled past all the stacked hoarded belongings to make it over to the bare bench.  He climbed over the bench to sit down before the mirror as though he were an actor before a back-stage vanity, minus the lights and surrounding hustle. 

The face reflected in the mirror smiled back until he smeared the red paint away with several rough passes of a dingy rag.  The starry eyes staring back at him rubbed with the same gray rag were exposed as wan.  After several more aggressive rubs of his face into the now color-streaked rag from chin to forehead, and ear to ear, his complexion began to show through the removed pasty white as pallid, almost cadaverous.  He did as fair a job as he could rubbing away into the dirty rag his former face, then tossed away that rag into the sink over the red foam nose and bouncy wig he wore when he came in.


Rising from the piano bench, he removed much of what he was wearing and then began redressing into a fresh outfit laid out on his cot.  Last, he pulled a black tuxedo jacket off that cot and on over his white shirt.  The jacket also showed a lot of wear and tear.  One of the side pockets was torn open, and the collar, cuffs, and tails were tattered.  As poor as it all was, there was still a look about him in it.  Dignified.  He pulled at his jacket lapels to adjust the hang.  He stooped to look at his appearance in the mirror beside his toilet.  He brushed at dust and lint on his black pants and jacket with a handkerchief, then snapped that handkerchief into his lapel pocket.  The soiled square was not much more than another rag from overuse, but against the faded black jacket it appeared a bit whiter.

Dressed in bow tie and tails, he reached for a top hat.  Even his scuffed black leather shoes, the right one with a hole, now shined from a bit of spit and shine.  He again turned to observe his appearance in the mirror.  His eyes looked back at himself with sorrow but no dread.  He sighed, took one last glance at his appearance, and turned toward the door, the door he entered the apartment by.  He reached for the doorknob with some listlessness and turned it to open the door.  With the light cracking into the apartment came the immediate sounds of footsteps passing just a yard from his doorway.  He quickly pushed the door close again.  

One last deep sigh, and he swung the door open wide and stepped out into the alley, took a couple steps onto the sidewalk, and paused in view of the street.  He left the door to his home open.


It did not seem to matter whether he walked left or right.  He just kept walking along the sidewalk toward an avenue.  As he stepped, people stopped and stared at him.  There was a conformity to how they looked and how they looked at him.  In the eyes of those people was fear.  

Each person staring was dressed as he had been.  Soon the numbers of people stopping and staring forced him to break from a linear course to weave around them like through a long hall of randomly scattered statues.  

Everyone he passed wore grease paint.  The majority wore smiles in red grease paint traced around the mouth way past the lip line; surprised looks painted with large circles or triangles around their eye sockets filled in with blue, orange, or green and outlined in black or purple; their eyebrows washed out under the greasepaint and redrawn further up their foreheads.  A nose covered in red greasepaint or hidden beneath a red or yellow ball of sponge.  

Everyone he passed wore a wig of curly, frizzy hair shaped in a helmet-sized cotton ball.  But unlike a white cotton ball, each wig was colored red, orange, yellow, green, blue or purple, or various combinations.  Some wigs were divided by one hemisphere in a different color than the other, or various stripes, spots, and zig-zagging lines of contrasting colors.

Everyone he passed wore oversized shoes, baggy pants falling below the waist, fluffy shirts, and often polka-dotted boxers showing from unbelted pants falling below the buttocks, or pulled out from an unzipped crotch.

Within a few more blocks he was approached by a group jumping down from where they had been camped sitting on the hood of a derelict automobile.  Their appearance was less forced than the average clown he had passed in the streets; and they lacked the fear in their eyes.

“Check this fool,” was spoken by one in the group which quickly surrounded him, and then beat him to death.



"A time is coming when men will go mad, and when they see someone who is not mad, they will attack him, saying, 'You are mad; you are not like us.'" 
- St. Anthony the Great (4th Century)

Saturday, February 27, 2016

Knaves of Haste


KNAVES OF HASTE
(nom de guerre)
(c) Saturday, February 27, 2016

Two upperclassmen stood in the way of the double-doors to the water closet refusing to let any underclassmen pass through without one of them first answering a riddle.  One held out two playing cards face down.  The other held out a Bible open to Psalms.

Underclassmen pooled in front of the doorway:  some anxious to pass through, others curious about the challenge, and still others just trying to pass the growing commotion.

"Choose a card and hand it to the one it belongs,” commanded the upperclassmen in unison.

The underclassmen looked like munchkins before towering twin tin-men.  The upperclassmen stood shoulder to shoulder.  Their near arms were held at their sides like toy soldiers.  

From the back of the crowd Master Shiskey wriggled up front to face the imposing upperclassmen.  

"Choose a card and hand it to the one it belongs,” commanded, again, the upperclassmen in unison in response to Master Shiskey standing front and center before them.  Everyone before the doorway hushed.

Master Shiskey, unshaken, paused a moment to poke his head toward the Bible held out to him to read the passage.  He read Psalms 116:11 out loud for everyone to hear:  “I said in my haste, 'Every man is a liar!'"  He then turned to the cards held out for him to pick one.  He pulled a card away from the upperclassman’s grip and held it for everyone to see.  A Jack of Clubs.

Students murmured what does it all mean among themselves while Master Shiskey stood before the blocked doorway thinking to himself.  From within the crowd someone yelled the clubs look like three leaf clovers.  Everyone knew how clover related.  Clover was the patron of their school.  Someone else yelled, over the growing din, does anyone know who Jack is.  

“Jack is a knave,” yelled Master Dudley.

“Yes!” Master Shiskey blurted out himself.

The rest murmured:  Whose Jack?  What’s a knave? 

"Who cares?  Hurry up!" exclaimed Master James on behalf of a handful of boys doing an awkward jig--the very first dance all boys learn when they just have to go. 

Master Bayne came from behind Shiskey, swiped the playing card from his hand and reached it forward to slip in the silver vest of the upperclassman with the remaining card. "He had it, so it belongs to him," Bayne explained as he moved. 

Striking Bayne's forearm up away from returning the card, Master Shiskey first knocked it away and then snatched it from Bayne.  "You fool. The riddle.  Return the knave to the knave," he reproached him. 

"So who is that?" said James dancing a jig. 

"A knave is a liar, replied Dudley. 

"Then who lied?" asked James. 

"'Every man is a liar' read the Psalm," Shiskey reminded the assembled underclassmen.  

"So give them both cards," James shouted back anxiously. 

"Then give the card back," Bayne protested to Shiskey. 

"No," said Shiskey. 

Master Shiskey retook the lead, turning to face the crowd to explain his conclusion. "The Psalm begins, 'I said in my haste.'  Whoever was speaking, King David maybe, regrets calling all men liars.  The confession means he lied.  His hasty comment slandered all the saints and prophets. He was the knave."

"'King,' you said," Master Bayne jumped over Shiskey again. "Two cards they held out. The one we picked was the knave. The other then was a king.  The Psalm quotes a king.  So the knave belongs to the one who held it out to us."  

The dancing boys cheered. Dudley pulled the card from Shiskey and handed it to Bayne.  Bayne reached again to put the card into the vest pocket of the card-holding upperclassman.  Both upperclassmen, in unison, used their free hand to shove Bayne back from the door.  Bayne stumbled back and into Dudley dropping the playing card.  The underclassmen gasped. 

With confidence, Master Shiskey stepped around Dudley and Bayne toward the cardholder. Without stopping for the dropped playing card, he reached forward for the other card the upperclassmen held.  Then without even pausing to look at the face of the card, Shiskey reached to slide the card into the pocket of the Bible-holder.   

The upperclassmen kept their free hand at their side until the card was deposited.  Then with those same hands they gestured to all you may enter. 

"Oh, thank you!" exclaimed Master James leading his dance troop through the parting upperclassmen into the water closet. 

Masters Bayne, Dudley and the rest stood with their jaws agape.  Wayne lifted the jack of clubs off the floor.  

"I solved the riddle," Bayne argued.  "Shiskey pulled the king and gave it to him," pointing at the Bible-holder.  "You shouldn't have shoved me," Bayne  continued his defense. 

The upperclassman holding the Bible pulled the playing card back out of his pocket and held it up high for everyone assembled to see its face.  The crowd of underclassmen gasped again.  

"How?" some uttered.  

Some turned to Master Shiskey for an explanation.  

"But he never looked at the card," still others were saying.  

"All men were liars, he said," repeated others.  

"In haste, he said that," another emphasized.  

"So two cards?" another questioned.  

"The riddle was solved when the king withdrew his contradiction," said Master Shiskey.  "One card was for himself and the other for those he slandered, but he called it back upon himself by his confession that he spoke in haste."

The card held up was a second jack of clubs. 

##

Saturday, February 20, 2016

A Matter Of Time


A MATTER OF TIME
(nom de guerre)
(c) Saturday, February 20, 2016

The dining hall erupted in jeers when young Master Shiskey entered through the main doors at five past noon to sit for lunch. He was late. He's always late. And everyone was kept waiting to start.
"Now that Master Shiskey has seen fit to grace us with his untimely presence we may begin. Master Dudley will you lead us in the saying of grace this after-noon," the headmaster said with emphasis on the first two syllables of afternoon.
Most of Shiskey's house mates missed that last quip as they were preoccupied sneering at Shiskey taking his seat among them.
"What's your excuse this time, shish-kebob," Master James whispered loud enough for the other boys around him to hear.
Everyone in earshot smirked with heads down to avoid eye contact with the headmaster.
The next morning, Shiskey found his pocket watch with its crystal face cracked. The watch was in his vest pocket where he had left it the night before. He could still see the watch was telling time. In fact, he noted he arrived on time to breakfast, lunch, and dinner and every other appointment that day.
Shiskey spent the next day observing the comings and goings of his peers. One student was always entering the room late with his eyes darting from making contact with his.  This, finally, prompted Shiskey to speak with the headmaster. That someone had stolen his school-issued pocket watch, he declared, without mentioning the broken one he kept concealed.

Two days after the alleged theft, the headmaster called Master Shiskey's house to his office, all twenty boys.
As each boy filed in and took a seat on wood benches along either side of the room against the walls, the headmaster kept an eye on his pocket watch recording each boys' time of arrival. Master Shiskey was not the last one to enter the room. Five minutes after everyone else, Master James arrived with a stunned look upon his face at everyone else seated and waiting on him. He reached into the pocket of his signature red vest--the color of their house--and pulled out his school-issued pocket watch. It read 1:59 p.m. He looked up somewhat relieved but somewhat perplexed.
"Master Shiskey," the headmaster started, "we are assembled as you requested."
As James moved quickly to take a seat, Shiskey lept to his feet.
"Master James," Shiskey called out, "would you please check under the coat stand for a pen dropped there?"
Still feeling somewhat off, having arrived last, James turned obediently to check. He leaned over from the waist to fan his fingers beneath the stand. In doing so his pocket watch poured out and hit the hardwood floor. He scooped it up quickly and checked the face. Then slid it back into his vest pocket.
"Did the crystal crack?" called out Shiskey to James.
James neglected a response while with one hand he reached under the stand and with the other he held his pocket watch in place. The face of his watch was not broken, but what he found under the stand was a pocket watch whose face was cracked. He stood upright and turned back to face everyone, but he uttered not a word.
"Headmaster, we need new watches. I suspect Master James has a penchant for breaking his in the manner we just witnessed. And mine runs slow, which is why Master James was last to arrive."
All the boys gasped and murmured until Master James broke in. "Are you accusing me of something," James cut back.
Shiskey turned to the headmaster while answering James. "No, I am proving something. I hid that pocket watch under the stand. It is yours. It still tells correct time. The crystal is just cracked. The watch in your pocket you took from me. It is mine. It is slow. It requires constant rewinding, and resetting. I confess I knew that, and so my tardiness is my failure to attend to my watch. But evidently Master James was unaware of this when he swapped his cracked watch for my slow one."
#
The headmaster smiled recalling he had witnessed The Very First Case From The Cabinet Of Capers Of Child Constable Shiskey Chateau.

##
~725 words

Saturday, February 13, 2016

The Sicilian Solution


THE SICILIAN SOLUTION
(nom de guerre)
(c) Saturday, February 13, 2016

It was a bitter but still night when Clancy went outside to light a cigarette across the street.  Inside the bar that he had just left, two political operatives representing opposing presidential candidates from the same party continued to speak together in hushed whispers over stiff drinks.  What he overheard spun about in his head for a political thriller.  

Clancy drew a cocktail napkin from his pants' pocket.  He shivered.  His cheap hearing aid tickled uncomfortably in his ear with tiny snaps of static electricity.  On the paper were notes he jotted hastily just before he had finished his drink, pulled on his jacket and left for a smoke. 

Outside he didn't hear the pre-debate show interrupted by breaking news.  A Supreme Court justice had reportedly been found dead of natural causes.  As the news continued, the front windows of this small bar blew out with a loud boom followed by flames reaching after the shards of shattered glass flying out across the street.  The glass that hit his hand and face stung like bee stings.  The force of the explosion swept him off his feet.  He hit the ground hard and painfully.  Then the scorching heat from the flames passed over him in the midst of the bitter cold for a fleeting moment of comforting warmth.

Clancy laid in the debris while the blown out bar across from him glowed noisily in the cold winter air, like a fireplace.  His mind was somewhat detached from his body, which was numb and unresponsive.  Perhaps five minutes passed while he laid in place when he heard the sound of a distant siren.  Within seconds, however, a fireman was standing over him.  

“Can you move, sir?” he asked.

Clancy, mostly on his back, swept his arms up creating a smear of charred debris and glass in their wake, like making angel wings in the snow.

“Were you in the bar, sir?” the fireman asked.

Clancy, becoming aware of the paper napkin still in his hand, nodded yes.

The fireman leaned down on one knee and--looking about for anyone looking at them--took a long shard of glass off Clancy’s chest and forced it through the soft under area of his neck.  Clancy reacted like a man choking, reaching his outstretched arms for his neck.  He gurgled blood and died as steam from his blood cooled in the bitter night.

The sound of the siren was growing louder.  The fireman seeing the napkin pulled it from Clancy’s hand.  He also rifled through Clancy's pockets for his cell phone.  He rose and moved toward a couple huddled on the ground by a lamppost.  

“Were you in the bar,” he called to them as he glanced at the napkin.  It read:
  1. A lame duck president facing Supreme Court challenges to his unconstitutional actions turns to a flawed presidential candidate facing criminal prosecution for her treasonous actions. 
  2. The duck offers the perp a presidential pardon in return for a Supreme Court nomination. 
  3. The obstacles are a lack of a vacancy, the futility of replacing a liberal with a liberal, the current opposition party filibustering until a new president is elected. 
  4. Solution:  create a vacancy among the conservatives, goad the conservatives to filibuster, inflame the passions of liberal voters, the perp wins the presidency, the duck pardons her, she nominates the duck, a neutered Congress consents. 
  5. Possible title:  The Sicilian Solution
~600 words

Saturday, July 14, 2012

The Olivet Discord


THE OLIVET DISCORD
w/a Gwyneth O'Dea
(nom de guerre)
(c) Saturday, July 14, 2012

Smashed in the groin by the other man's left leg, Commander Stedman fell to his knees.  Extending to draw away from a finishing blow, he clawed against the cave floor dislodging a fist-size rock in the maneuver.  With the rock in his left hand he slung at the legs of the other man ineffectually as he lost focus convulsing from the intense pain from the kick.  
The other man still had the knife lodged in his abdomen and did not advance.  Both fell back to opposite sides of the cave slumped opposed against the cave walls.  A third man lay lifeless near the device further in.
"Why are you helping him?" Commander Stedman spit retching involuntarily.  No answer.
"Where did you come from?  Who do you work for?"   Still no answer.
"Are you part of it?" he tried raising his voice but retching again, spitting up on himself.
The other man drew the knife from his abdomen slowly as if it refused to come out as easily as it pierced in.  From his other hand he produced a detonator brandishing it before him.
"No!" Commander Stedman started.  "Why?" he followed up resigned.  All the investigating, infiltrating, and interrogating to come to this point averting a planet killer single-handedly and now undone by this interloper who fights to help them, he thought with chilling desperation.
"Maya," is all the other man managed to murmur pressing the detonator to the device with his last exhale.  Stepping by his side, but not touching the ground, a tall shining individual appeared from nowhere.
The world watched the clock as somewhere, everywhere, secret police, special ops and vigilantes were kicking in doors, excavating fresh digs and torturing theories to find evidence of a doomsday scenario about to explode.  Fanatics were on the air waves, conducting ceremonies and reproaching nonbelievers.
Like New Year's Eve, the whole world was watching the clock tick down, but this was December 21st, not 31st, and the countdown was the Mayan doomsday clock.  Commander Stedman listened to his heart slow as he slumped.  The sun outside was setting.  And not long all the hours of the day would pass.  
Across from him the angel smiled.  "As it is written for the faithful, I am as certain as you can be, that the day and hour is not today.  'No one knows the day or hour when the end will happen, not even the angels.'"  
It was not that day.  So gave proof to the world of the Word.
~440 words

Friday, July 13, 2012

Justice Denied Zombies


JUSTICE DENIED ZOMBIES
w/a “Artee” Tusecht I. Claus-Haight
(nom de guerre)
(c) Friday, July 13, 2012

“Breaking news:  we reported there is a huge crowd assembling outside the nation’s Capitol.  It was believed in these earlier reports that the thousands gathering outside the Capitol were related to the cancelled ceremonies.  Perhaps people with plans to participate, and others not realizing the events were canceled, showing up led others to gather, drawing in more individuals curious to see what everyone was gathering for.  But now URNBR has confirmed that this is a violent mob assembling before the Capitol’s West Front.”  
“Zombies!  Zombies shuffling together from all compass points surrounding the Capitol building,” played a recording of someone outside the radio station presumably witnessing the events firsthand.
“I would describe it as the Running of the Bulls along Pennsylvania Avenue,” picked up the radio personality, “as the thousands lining that street come off the curb running toward the Capitol.  The violent crowd snorting puffs of crystalizing air from their snarling snouts are stomping up the street to stand with the already large crowds of staring zombies standing around the West Front of the Capitol.”
“Thank goodness they are not turning the other way toward the White House,” added the co-host with emphasis.
Outside the Congress thousands of people had seemed to suddenly gather.  Still more streamed in from Pennsylvania Avenue.  Smaller numbers appeared from every compass point around the Capitol building.  The thousands gathering stood with the others assembled outside the West Front until like a school of fish the crowd suddenly darted in lockstep to the left.  The people moving from the area before the Capitol’s West Front and the people feeding together with them from Pennsylvania Avenue overflowed the North flank of the Capitol spilling over onto Constitution Avenue.  After several minutes, the tail end of the group which had been assembled before the West Front darted off South to the right of the Capitol building.  From the air above, media choppers reported two streams of people could be seen moving around the sides of the Capitol from the West side to the East side of the building.  
From Union Station, people coming to the Capitol along Delaware Avenue were somehow aware that the West Front crowd was moving to the other side of the Capitol.  The long line of people along Delaware Avenue, coming from Union Station toward the Capitol, suddenly cascaded to First Street, correcting course to meet up with the West Front and Pennsylvania Avenue crowds streaming around the Capitol to the East side.  Still more people congregating from the Capitol South Metro began joining with the second group of West Front people who had been circling the Capitol from the South.
By the time the two main masses of humanity came around to the East side of the Capitol, there was twenty thousand people filling the area.  Various agents of the government, civil law enforcement, military and others scurried hurriedly at the direction of some invisible coordinator along the top of the marble stairs to the West Pediment--the entrance to the United States Supreme Court.  The crowds described as zombies by one eyewitness on URNBR talk radio was indeed regrouping at the foot of the Supreme Court on the West Plaza.  The scene was eerie with no chants or signs from the crowd; just the sound of stepping feet.  As they seemed to wait upon others, the crowd grew within minutes another ten thousand.  And still more were coming.  
A uniformed officer stepped forward from the line of government agents at the top of the Supreme Court steps and shouted through an amplified megaphone to the ominously quiet crowd burgeoning below.
“Turn back and go home,” he began; then identified some authority for his command, and continued, “You will not be allowed to enter the courthouse.”  
The crowd below, now nearing forty thousand strong, began locking arms with each other forming a huge human chain.  Those at the very bottom of the staircase to the West Pediment in unison took the first step up the Virginia marble staircase.  The crowd behind those who took the first step filled in the space behind them and so on.  The government agents armed with pistols, rifles and other firearms made a show of readying their weapons to be fired.  In the hush the unmistakable sound of firearms being cocked resounded over the crowd.
“If you do not stop and return to your homes, we will be forced to fire upon you with live ammunition,” was yelled at the front line of the crowd taking a second step up the Supreme Court steps.  “Deadly force,” the officer added for emphasis.  
One wondered why tear gas or other nonlethal option were not suggested, but perhaps it was the complete unexpected approach of the crowd.  Certainly, by the motley crew of government agents assembled at the top of the courthouse steps, one could assume that they were entirely unprepared for this.  Contrariwise, how could one believe that the government would prefer to respond so heavy handed against its own people?  Even so, the stand off between the forty or so government agents and the now forty thousand people gathering below was set.  Not except by airlift could more government agents slip pass the crowd of people surrounding the courthouse arm in arm with each other.
The front line of the crowd stepped again deliberatively, and again, and again.  Their steady slow pace was dramatic and single-minded.  The agents above aimed their weapons and fired above the advancing crowd.  While there were some shrieks, impulsive ducking and a few fainting in the massive burgeoning crowd, the front line kept stepping up and the crowd at large remained arm in arm moving with them.  The agents again, in the hush after the echoing gunfire, cocked their weapons.  This time their weapons were lowered at the stepping front line only ten feet away.  
The front line said nothing but kept walking into the barrels of the guns.  Reaching the zenith, the government agents gave way to the crowd that slowly walked pass them to the closed Bronze Doors.  At first unable to pass them, but then seemingly let in somehow or by someone, the crowd crushed forward and in to the courthouse.  Inside the crowd moved through the halls into rooms in every direction.  As rooms were found empty, the people would push back and send the others in other directions, into other rooms.  
The shrill screams of a woman were heard above all the footsteps echoing through the marble courthouse.  The group of people who came upon the old woman cringing in a finely ornamented room backed away.  The old woman kept shrieking over and over unconsolably.  The crowd just moved on.  More doors were opened, more rooms breached, more stairs climbed.  
A group of people opened a door to find a man who lept up from a chair and backed up a step.  The group held its position in the doorway.  From behind them there was pushing and shoving until to the front was pushed another man from the crowd.  The man behind the desk took one step forward and reached his right hand to a side drawer of his desk.  
“The crowd has apparently overtaken the Capitol Police by force and rushed into the Supreme Court,” updated the URNBR personality.  “The President, who only days ago ‘reluctantly’ as he said was ‘forced,’” adding emphasis, “to suspend the inauguration in response to the dire national emergency, is already with his family in a secure location,” explained the URNBR personality to any listeners of the radio broadcast. 
In the chambers of the Supreme Court, the man behind the desk pulled a Bible from the desk drawer.  The man entering the room stepped forward and put his left hand on the Bible and raised his right hand up by his chest palm out.
“Repeat after me,” said the Chief Justice to the other man as a pendulum clock on a mantle snapped its minute hand to 12.  The crowd at the door squeezed in and about the room so that more could witness the occasion as the two men before the Bible continued.  “. . . [D]o solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the office,” repeated the President-Elect.

~1,400 words

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Twistification


TWISTIFICATION
w/a Xistine Amenant
(nom de guerre)
(c) Saturday, July 7, 2012
HAIL TO THE CHIEF
Justice Kennedy stormed down the hall.  His face was flush with his blood rushing back after the cold shiver.  His hands reaching out ahead of him as though he could pull himself any quicker down the hall.  
Justice Kennedy realized he had lost his sway.  He can’t do this, he thought.  If John joins Ruth I will not control the decision.  The other three will be powerless.  I will be powerless.  
The Supreme Court is widely understood to consist of four liberals and four conservatives with Justice Kennedy as the swing vote.  On decisions of consequence to the left or the right, Justice Kennedy held the power to grant either side the win.
Chief Justice John Roberts joining with the four liberals of the Court negated Justice Kennedy’s position of tie-breaker.  Chief Justice Roberts took away Justice Kennedy’s power to force the other eight justices to beg for his favor.
THE SWITCH IN TIME
“We are going to win!  We are going to win!  Don’t you see?” exclaimed Justice Ruth Ginsburg to her three colleagues.  “John is cowing to the President.  He is afraid of what the media will do to him if he sides with ‘them.’”  
Chief Justice Roberts waited patiently in the anteroom while the four liberal justices continued to consider his offer.  Justice Ginsburg’s dissent would be rewritten to concur with Chief Justice Roberts, giving the liberals a 5 to 4 victory.  Before Justice Kennedy reached the anteroom, Justice Ginsburg invited Chief Justice Roberts to reenter her chambers, where the deal was struck.  ObamaCare would be upheld as a tax.
NEW DEAL SAME AS THE OLD DEAL
Often seen during a picture-taking session together muttering off to the right seated side by side in the front row, Justices Kennedy and Ginsburg initially were writing the majority and dissenting opinions respectively.  Justice Kennedy writing for the conservatives was under the impression that Chief Justice Roberts would side with them.  Justice Ginsburg writing for the liberals was under the impression that Chief Justice Roberts was opposing President Obama’s will.  
In the press, amidst the unprecedented leaks during the Obama administration, a leak that Chief Justice Roberts was siding with the conservatives to strike down ObamaCare was reported.  The day after April’s Fools Day, the former constitutional law professor, President Obama, lectures the nation that the Supreme Court would be guilty of “judicial activism” if it dared to declare his now infamous mandate unconstitutional.  This public excoriation of the Roberts Court is met with howls of protests from the Republicans.  It is said of President Obama’s remarks that they are intimidation not seen since President Franklin Delano Roosevelt threatened his Supreme Court (led by Chief Justice Hughes) to endorse his New Deal.
A TALE OF TWO TIMES
“Let’s make it 9-0,” pleaded Chief Justice Roberts.  
Reminiscent of the Warren Court in Brown v. Board of Education, Chief Justice Roberts had called all the justices together to inform them that while Justice Kennedy had been drafting the presumptive majority opinion for the conservative justices to throw out all of ObamaCare and Justice Ginsburg had been drafting the dissent for the liberal justices to uphold all of ObamaCare, he had been writing his own opinion to unite them all.  
Chief Justice Roberts saw two views divided in the room.  On the right was the view from 1789. On the left was the view from 1913.  He reminded them all that they had just affirmed federal supremacy over even a state’s border and the human traffic across it.  Would the Founding Fathers have agreed?  Would a state be held helpless to defend itself from Spanish, French and English adventurism, or from indigenous tribes?
Justice Roberts seeking agreement continued to try to close the gap after defining it for them.  From 1789, the Founding Fathers would not have conceived of interpreting the Commerce Clause to permit such a federal intrusion as ObamaCare into the affairs of the citizens of the several states.  From 1913, however, the Progressives installed the 16th Amendment, which is also part of that Constitution now, and it does reach right past the governors, state legislatures and their courts.
DUCKSPEAK:  LIPSTICK FOR A PIG
“‘Penalty’?  It is a thought-terminating cliche,” retorted Chief Justice Roberts to the other four conservative justices.  
As President Nixon famously remarked after decades of the New Deal, “We are all Keynesians now.”  Keynesian theory is that government can control the economy by taxing and spending.  The government through our current tax system controls everything.  Through taxing and not taxing, the government can force taxpayers to choose the path chosen for them, or face onerous taxes (and the criminal penalties for not paying them).  Given that half the nation does not pay federal income taxes, and President Obama promised not to raise taxes on the middle class, it was necessary for Obama to hide his tax with one ironic word--penalty.


"You don't interpret a penalty to be a pig. It can't be a pig," said Justice Scalia in reproach to Chief Justice Roberts calling Obamacare a tax. "There is no way to regard this penalty as a tax."

Chief Justice Roberts challenged the conservative justices as he would later challenge a president, a Congress, and a nation to explain what part of the Internal Revenue Service confiscating by force from every citizen by April 15th each year a portion of their income unless they qualify for an exemption and/or credit does not sound like a tax?  A rose is a rose by any other name, and the Supreme Court is not bound to call a tax a penalty, a mandate, an exercise of the Commerce Clause or any other subterfuge used by Democrats or the Obama administration to get it pass the voters.    
TROJAN HORSE
In her chambers, Justice Ginsburg beseeched the three other liberal justices to recognize that the very progressive nature of the tax system equalizes the power between the rich and the poor, by balancing the financial power of the wealthy with the taxing power of the state.  With the eventual easing off of the tax rolls huge percentages of taxpayers beginning with the poorest and moving up the income scale, the nation has reached a point where nearly one half of the nation can tax the other.  The one half of the nation that pays no federal income tax can vote to have the other half pay more.
The 16th Amendment is the Trojan horse that has let many more illiberal measures into the country besides ObamaCare.  The long list of social experiments and social harms that have been engendered by taxing policy have gone unchecked because the groups assailed were smaller and less politically capable of defending themselves against the larger special interests intent on using the tax code to get their way.  Democracy is the road to socialism.
“When the people find that they can vote themselves money, that will herald the end of the republic.” --Benjamin Franklin
WMD
“It was a ticking time bomb,” Chief Justice Roberts interjected to the four conservative justices who were insisting that some other constitutional argument should prevail. 
Logically, ObamaCare is just another tax, and the 16th Amendment permits it.  The 16th Amendment is the problem, always has been.  The 16th Amendment undermines American liberty, i.e., equality of opportunity, because it permits unequal taxation, through progressive rates, loopholes, tax credits and other complicated schemes.  The tax code is seventy-thousand pages, hiding one illiberal measure after another; in the same way, ObamaCare hid what it contained in two thousand seven hundred pages.  "We have to pass the bill so you can find out what is in it," admitted Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi.  
A hundred years ago the Progressives seeking to follow the path of Europe to social democracy installed as an amendment to the Constitution a weapon of mass destruction.  Not until “compassionate conservatives” made deals with the Democrats resulting in nearly half the taxpayers coming off the tax rolls has this WMD been so completely armed.
WHAT IS GOOD FOR THE GOOSE  
Chief Justice Roberts gave the liberal wing of the Supreme Court what they wanted--ObamaCare, but he took away from them how they got it--a lot of legal mumbo jumbo and the word “penalty.”  They are left then with “tax,” which even the dumbest voter is going to understand.  Now all those millions of voters who avoid federal income taxes were going to have to be returned by President Obama to the tax rolls to satisfy the voracious need for funds for ObamaCare.  Whether President Obama directs the checks be made out to an insurance company or the IRS, the money is still coming out of the voter’s pocket.
Chief Justice Roberts challenged the conservative justices again as they protested calling what the Obama administration labeled a “penalty” a “tax.”  
REFRESHING THE TREE
“Hubris,” Chief Justice Roberts labeled the disapproving glares, as he continued to explain how his decision would correct the tortured interpretations of the words of the Founding Fathers, while leaving to the voters, Congress and future lawsuits the uses and fate of the 16th Amendment.  In other words, the Commerce Clause belongs to the view from 1789; and the New Deal interpretations of that provision would be stopped here in their tracks.  ObamaCare is a tax; “mandate” is an absurd fiction.  
“We cannot continue this fiction,” Chief Justice Roberts continued further, explaining precedent should never be more important than the truth.  Some of the justices continued to argue years of Supreme Court precedent since the New Deal, arguing that once the Court has spoken on an issue, it must be followed even if it proves out to be in error, because to backtrack would cause confusion and undermine the Court’s authority.  One of the most infamous cases where Supreme Court delayed justice was the half a century the nation was forced to wait between Plessy v. Ferguson and Brown v. Education.  
The Commerce Clause is a creature of the Founding Fathers, responded the Chief Justice to the nodding approval of a couple justices, and should be properly interpreted from the view from 1789.  The tortured interpretations of the Commerce Clause, starting with the Hughes Court that bent to the intimidations of President Franklin Delano Roosevelt, cannot be added to by the hubris of stare decisis when the truth contradicts.
EENY, MEANIE, MINY, MO

Obama’s lawyers put forward the Commerce Clause, the Necessary and Proper Clause and the Taxing Power of Congress to name a few to justify the mandate.  The ruling of the Roberts Court is that the mandate is a tax. 
The ruling of the Roberts Court that the mandate is a tax ignores the very assurances given by President Obama himself to the nation.  During the very partisan battle over passage of ObamaCare, President Obama personally argued that it was not a tax.  He promised not to raise any new tax on the Middle Class. 
“Hubris,” argued a law professor supporting the decision breaking from precedent.  Stare decisis is hubris.  No law should stand as interpreted by any court when that interpretation is wrong.  The idea that once a case has been decided by the Supreme Court that that decision must be followed so as not to confuse the People is antithetical to the Constitution that every justice swore to uphold.  Lawyers, judges, politicians, bureaucrats, special interests, they are invested in the tortured use of words, carving out exceptions and abuses between the view from 1789 and the view from 1913.  
 
“Dicta,” replied another law professor.  Whatever a judge states in an opinion that does not bear on the issue requiring a decision is considered informative but not binding.  Accordingly, since the Anti-Injunction Act prohibits a challenge to a tax until that tax has been collected, which in this case will not be collected until 2014, the constitutionality of the ObamaCare tax is not decided.  In 2014 when the tax begins to be collected, the Court can hear a new challenge, and the tax will be categorized and ruled on officially. That is, if the tax is still around past the November 2012 election.
“Cowardice,” snorted another law professor.  The Chief Justice could have disposed of ObamaCare but for his perverse decision.  He calls it a non-tax to avoid the Anti-Injunction Act, and then calls it a tax to uphold ObamaCare.
“Ironic,” forwarded another law professor.  As it was the position of President Obama that the mandate was a penalty, not a tax, Chief Justice Roberts answered that subterfuge with a penalty of his own by removing the Anti-Injunction Act as a hurdle.
APPLES AND ORANGES
“If you get a parking ticket, do you assume it is a tax or a penalty?” quips the law professor with his invalid analogy.    He was adding to an already very long list of lame counter examples that do not match up. 
ObamaCare starts with a tax on everyone, then gives anyone a tax credit negating that tax provided they have health insurance as selected by Obama, leaving anyone else who does not with the tax.  
Parking laws do not start with a parking ticket for everyone, then give anyone a penalty credit negating that ticket provided they have avoided restricted parking zones as selected by city planners, leaving anyone else who does not the ticket.
But what was stopping Congress before Chief Justice Roberts’ decision from assessing a tax on everyone, then giving anyone a tax credit negating that tax provided they have a parking space as defined by Congress, leaving anyone else who does not the tax?  The answer is voters. 
Chief Justice Roberts has ruled:  Congress has no authority to require people to buy health insurance; but it can penalize anyone who will not, refusing them a tax credit that everyone else who does gets.
BLUEBIRDS
10:07:  "Oh, it's such a blessing . . . Thank you for taking time out of your day! Oh, gracious God, thank you so much! UUUUhA!"
10:30:  HOW?
10:37:  Recall Rep. Joe Wilson yelling in Congress "You Lie!" during Obama Health Care speech?
10:38:  That was about covering illegal aliens.
10:38:  Recall “It’s not a tax” interview with George Stephanopoulos?
10:42:  Obama’s lawyers argued it was a tax.  Republicans argued it was a tax-the largest-on the middle class.  Roberts ruled it was a tax.  Quack!
10:58:  "Roberts supported states rights by limiting commerce clause & forced Dems to come clean - ObamaCare is a tax." I think they're getting it.
11:01:  ObamaCare FORWARD To Tax   
11:32:    First Impressions of Health Care Ruling:
11:32:  Mandate is not valid under Commerce Clause;
11:33:  Mandate is not valid under Necessary & Proper Clause;
11:33:  Mandate is valid under Taxing Power.
11:33:  Anti-Injunction Act prohibits this ruling:
11:34:  Tax Not challenge-able in Court until begins to be collected...2014.
11:56:  Flathead or phillips; who cares?  
12:01:  We could have had it all.  --Adele
12:03:  Winner takes it all.  --Abba
12:05:  Stupid, Roberts saved Obama and killed Romney.
12:06:  No, first Roberts exposed Obama as a liar and second he’s forced voters to vote Republican.
12:07:  Not with all the treats they have been promised.
12:09:  “Our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious people.  It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other.” --John Adams
12:09:  So speak to our teachers.  
14:30:  Are you sure this isn’t Marbury v. Madison Redux?
14:44:  Doesn’t this mean:  tax can be repealed by simple majority; and/or re-challenged when ripe?
15:20:  Hughes in Roberts’ Clothing.    He wimped out.
15:27:  I think Roberts is Marshall, not Hughes.
15:29:  And moving the argument from the legal mumbo jumbo of the Commerce Clause to the you-know-it-when-you-feel-it-in-your-pocketbook Taxing 
15:29:  Power was brilliant, giving everyone skin in the game.
16:37:  The ObamaCare decision accomplished three things: 
16:37:  1) it called OBAMA-"it's not a tax"-CARE a lying tax; 
16:37:  2) focused our attention on the camel's nose under the tent--the 16th Amendment;
16:39:  3) and yelled "wake up and make a choice, America, in November."
17:01:  How about recognizing Roberts can note now that it is a tax, but therefore it cannot be struck down until it is ripe by Anti-Injunction Act?
18:49:  It’s all mob rule now.  Rousseau (collectivist) guillotined Locke (individualist).  
18:55:  Tax everyone their fair share of the Obama economy UNLESS the taxpayer opts for a tax credit for giving up their vote.
MARBURY REDUX
Chief Justice Roberts negotiated a decision upholding States' Rights, in return for ObamaCare being upheld under the Taxing Power.  Some things must be defended by the Supreme Court to preserve the Republic, like upholding the 10th Amendment--States' Rights.  But a huge tax increase on the Middle Class is easily resolved in the very next election by the People.  
In Marbury v. Madison, Chief Justice Marshall (a Federalist) capitulated to the will of Jefferson (an anti-Federalist), but in such a way that it forced Jefferson to acknowledge Marshall's authority to say what the Law is.  In ObamaCare, Chief Justice Roberts (a Republican appointee) has capitulated to the will of Obama (a Democrat), but in such a way that it forced Obama to acknowledge the mandate survives as the tax that it is.
MORAL OF THE STORY
The Roberts’ decision on ObamaCare forces us to face two futures ahead of us.  In November we vote our way back to fiscal sanity, or confirm the Mayan calendar.  Roberts, who could have saved us from ourselves, has dropped our last 100 years in our laps and properly said, "You fix it."  And we can.  Yes We Can!
EPILOGUE
Following the ObamaCare decision, presidential candidate Mitt Romney made a public address:  "What the Court did not do on its last day in session, I will do on my first day if elected President of the United States--that is, I will act to repeal ObamaCare."
Chief Justice Roberts, smiling that smile like President George W. Bush, went on smiling that smile.
~3,000 words